There but for the grace of God, whoever she may be.

Normally, I would steer well clear of this subject, as it, and politics, have been the root cause of many arguments, wars, and the occasional chest beating, but sadly today, I just have to say something.

I am not against religion firstly, if people feel that they have a need to believe in some deity, whatever form it may take, well that is awesome for them, and I bear them no ill will. What I do object to though, is those who feel that they must share their beliefs, their fears, their hatred, their ignorance, and their blatant disregard for the wider community, via the medium of a megaphone, on a beautiful summers day at the beach.

Yes, sadly today, Brighton Beach was infected by the disease that is the preachers of hate from the Rundle Mall. For whatever reason, they decided that today they would have a christening at the beach, obviously welcoming another of the brainwashed into their fold. I will often lay claim to the fact that I don’t have much book learnin’, what I know, I know  through lifes lessons, and by not being afraid to ask questions, no matter how silly they may seem.

So to say that I know the bible, or any other book of religion, would of course be a wild claim! I tried reading one once, but got confused by the beget, beget, beget business, and went and had a baguette instead. Again though, what I do know, I know from asking questions of those much wiser and more informed than myself. So when these “righteous” folk get around with their placard below, I have to question why would God hate people the way these zealots seem to think he/she does? I thought this God feller/fellerette, was meant to be some kind and loving type person, who at some stage in the history of that fiction title, gave man, (and woman!!), free will? That was about the time that evil wench running naked in the Garden offered Adam a bite of her apple. You know it just went downhill from there didn’t it? (Ok, tongue in cheek! I still think the apple was some kind of euphemism, and could quite of easily been peach or cherry! And if these two did start humanity, doesn’t that mean their kids were all doing each other? And if she was a clone of him, and he had sex with her, out of wedlock, there being no-one else around to marry them, weren’t they therefore the original fornicators, thus we are all the children of fornicators? Uh oh, I feel a smiting coming on!)

Sodomites? Isn't he that Greek feller that Hercules had a crack at?

It really is quite pointless talking to these zealots, as any logical argument falls upon deaf ears, and if they actually hear or recognise any point you attempt to make, they somehow attempt to twist it to making themselves believe that they are still right! At one point, I explained to the main “Preacher”/ranter, that I did not go ramming my religion down his throat, so why should he feel it necessary to verbally assault me with his? He asked what my religion was, and I explained  that I worship oral sex. End of discussion, turn gracefully, and walk way.

So it would seem that they may have given up scaring children in Rundle Mall, and forcing shop owners to close their businesses early, because no-one wanted to go into their shops with this crew carrying on out the front of them, and descended upon the foreshore. Sadly however, there is never a good shark attack when you need one. The Police did come by, obviously responding to phone calls from the public, but were possibly quite limited in the response they could make. I guess there is still bad press around at the moment regarding pepper spray and tasers, but surely there is a case for their use here, if only for personal enjoyment?

So the reason for my rant? Well, the religion of Smudge, apart from worshipping the Holy Order of the Bicycle, also has one basic fundamental, be nice to people. Of course, this can backfire occasionally, and there are some people who just don’t deserve to be treated nicely, or will force you into a position of no longer wishing to treat them nicely, at which point you ride in like funda, then ride off, screaming like mental.

The zealots will never learn tolerance sadly, they will continue to hate all others for not being as holy and absolved of all sins as them. They will forget such basics as “Thou shalt love one another” (or words to that effect), which is pretty open ended, and makes no reference to heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Who are these people to make judgement on how people choose to live their lives? What makes them think that their interpretation of some book allegedly dating back 2,ooo+ years is the correct one? What if one of the early interpreters got a few bits wrong? What if the word “celibate” got confused in the translation, and should actually have read “celebrate”? What then my friends!!

I guess it all boils down to two schools of thought on how to deal with these people, one, do we continue to argue with them, gather around their rants in the Mall in an effort to interrupt them, or do we turn our backs on them and walk away? They seem to love the crowd responses to their rants. What happens if they are ranting, but there is no-one there to listen?

So, apologies to any friends reading this with religious tendencies, I am not attempting to make light of your beliefs, as they remain your beliefs, and you do not attempt to force them upon me, for which I am thankful, as I like you guys! I just don’t like these guys!!!

Forgive them Monkee Father, for they know not what they do.