My Nawty Monkee Fits in your Hand

The Monkees were feeling a bit out of sorts after a phone call this morning, and so decided that with bananas still being so expensive, the only other way to cheer up a Monkee is to drool over some porn. A couple of friends have recently bought themselves some porn, and funnily enough, identical pieces of porn with the exception that one has a preference for using white tape over other varieties.

So with the thought of their porn fresh in my mind, and the joy I know it is either bringing them, or will bring them, I set off in search for some of my own. My adventure did not take me far from work, just to Torrensville where there is a long established porn shop in the community, that often advertises on the radio. They have also been bombing a couple of sites on the Internet, teasing us with some heavily discounted porn.

I couldn’t miss it! As soon as I hit the shop, it’s all there, tight in your face! There’s porn on the floor, porn on the walls, porn in racks, porn even tied up and suspended from the ceiling!! But it’s not just the amount of porn they have either, it’s massive range of accessories that you would desperately want to use with your porn. The beauty of porn is that you don’t need it, but deep down, all of us enthusiasts want it and love it!

So I casually perused the porn that was there, trying to remain inconspicuous whist the purveyor of porn was assisting another client, an elderly gentleman in a rain jacket, so typical of some of these establishments. Finally it became my turn, and I let the purveyor know about some of the porn that I already have, and what particular fetish was striking my fantasy today!

He knew what it was that I wanted, and as misfortune can have it, had only just finished brown packaging the last one this morning to send to Sydney! Sydney?? Don’t they have their own porn shops there? Still, this is what the internet has done to us all I guess, we are all but small parts in a massive global community, all dedicated to using the internet for porn! Whether we’re watching it live streaming, downloading it, gazing lovingly at it, or just showing some mild curiosity in some of the more abstract forms, we can lose many hours of sleep in constant search for it.

So with my first preference gorn, he went behind the counter, again a common move for a purveyor, and said I may have just the very thing for you. At this he breaks out a beautiful glossy catalogue, still smelling fresh from the printers, with that almost laminated paper that allows the drool to run off. He flicked through it ever so quickly, with me only catching glimpses of all the exciting bits, until he came across his choice for me.

He said to me that it is so much like the others, but this one is black, and a little more curvaceous where it counts. Well you know what these catalogues are like, it always looks fantastic in the tiny picture you get to see, but this was all I had to go on. I kind of fell for her straight away, so said to the purveyor I must have her at all cost, provided she does not cost me more than what my friends paid for theirs of course.

There was ittle humming and harring, and he agreed to my terms, knowing that to do so would guarantee him an immediate sight unseen cash sale for this glorious piece of black porn that I really can not wait to get my hands on!

I figure I’m going to ride her hard, and ride her fast as much as possible. Of course there will be times when she will want to go slow, or I may want to, and yet other times when it is inevitable that she’ll be flat, and unable to go on, but I know the remedy to that, and pretty sure I can get her wound up and back on it again in a matter of minutes only!

So now I wait. She’s here in Australia, but I think she just needs to get her final clearance to be transferred to Adelaide, which may take a couple of days. The purveyor said that by the time her paperwork gets cleared, and the boys in the shop have all had a ride or two for free I am sure, they will call me to come pick her up and take her home. Not sure yet how I will sneak her in past Dad yet, he is pretty observant when it comes to porn, but I am hoping being black, I may just be able to sneak her in under cover of darkness, and he will be none the wiser.

I am not a very patient man when it comes to porn, and I know that I will just be itching and twitching and holding myself back until I get her, but I just have to remain positive that in less than a week, she will be here.

I need to thank Michael of Standish Cycles, 195 Henley Beach Road, Mile End, Ph: 8443 5435, email: standishmileend@optusnet.com.au, for putting me on to the Speciale Fixed Uno Drop at an amazing price. They also have such a huge range of all sorts of accessories that I will need to bling her up. So now, all she needs is a name! The “fumduk” springs to mind with a narrative such as above!